Why we are not compatible on match.com based on your profile....

A photo of you holding a giant ass fish you just caught.

A photo of you in Camouflage.

A photo of you doing the Aloha hand sign or a hand sign of equal dorkiness.

A photo of you kneeling down in front of your car so that we are absolutely SURE you own a BMW. 

Photos of your car.

A photo of you with your ex-girlfriend.

10 shirtless photos of you taking a picture of yourself in the mirror. 

Your handle is "Wolverine", "Black Wonder", "Single-AGAIN", or "Su-su-sudio". 

You have no hair, very little hair, or a ponytail.

Your tag line says, "Whatchooowant..... baby I got it!".

You are old enough to be my father... or grandfather.

Your photo looks like a mugshot or may have been taken back in the 80's. (when I was like 10)

Your hair is styled like Justin Bieber.

You are out of shape.

Under your list of what you're looking for in a woman it says, "Runway models are a plus".

You have a handle bar mustache.

You say, "I'm the kind of person who would hold your hair while you are barfing".

You fake tan.... and it's obvious.

Under the "Interests" section it says that you enjoy sticker books, finger painting and anything Hannah Montana.

You live with your mother, but you're moving out as soon as you get back on your feet.


In your profile photo, you are holding a beer or standing next to 25 empty beer bottles. 


Your 'about me' section is the lyrics of the song "Time in a bottle".